Resolution, Shmezolution.

Happy Birthday Blog. You are a year old. People always say the first year is the hardest (in marriage, child rearing and other things). And here we stand.

As I walk around my house (and nearly killing myself on the tens of hundreds of trains and matchbox cars littering the floor) I can’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude and overall happiness.  A year ago I was one child down, one job up, homeless, uncertain and feeling unsupported. I lived a life revolving around anger, resentment and objectifying everything.  My angsty tendencies and bristly demeanor wore over me like that proverbial dark cloud that hovers overhead in the anti-depression medication commercials.  Anyone who met me picked up on this and when I would try to reach out to be kind, my undying, dry-to the-bone wit would come out ill received and chalked up to bitchiness. Over the previous year I’ve tried to relinquish these attributes, ones created by myself as a defense poised to protect myself from whatever may be hurled at me.  See, all that tension and tightness was a reflection of my hard times. My good times and the real me parts were deep, DEEP down in there.  This year, my Saturn in return, has gifted me with patience, gratitude, open ears, a softer voice and a willingness to give. My walls are down and I’m so ready to take on the next year.

I just made a list of all the great things I’ve accomplished this year.  It feels amazing.  I strongly suggest you try it.  I’m still working on me though. I’m still trying to perfect my marriage everyday. I’m still trying to be the mom that I need and want to be. I’m still working on making friends and not just making them, but keeping them and making sure they know I love and appreciate them. My husband’s resolution last year and will again be this year: “Make it better.” And that’s what we intend to do. No resolutions. No impossible to reach goals. Just…Make it better.

Well…I meant for this to be a silly post on realistic resolutions like: “This year I resolve to never go to bed at a reasonable hour.” or “My New Year’s Resolution is to get dressed out of comfy pants as infrequently as humanly possible.” But I guess my fingers weren’t feeling it.

Goodbye 2013.  Hello 2014. Make it better, everyone. Be safe tonight. ❤

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