We all have a special place in our hearts for Dory. You know, that aloof Pacific regal blue tang we all came to love and laugh with in Finding Nemo? If you don’t know, she is the forgetful, well-meaning, easy tempered companion to Marlin in his search for his son. She holds the key to finding Nemo, the address of the dentist, and also often finds ways to calm Marlin down, (and tick him off, but thats not the point in this post 😉 ). Do you remember that quirky little song she sings when Marlin is feeling defeated and scared? Well here it is if you need a reminder.
It’s this song that I sing in my head that pulls me through most rough patches. So long as I haven’t reached the tipping point I can think of Dory and all her do-goodery and just keep swimming. I’d like to have the best intentions at all times but someone once told me that the path to Hell is paved with good intentions so…forget having good intentions and just do it.
Last Wednesday I posted about a work in progress. Yelling. Or alternately, not yelling as it would be. I’ve promised to my husband, my sons and myself that I wouldn’t yell out of anger anymore. If I were perfect I would be on day seven right now. I’m so far from perfect and that is why I am on day two. You see, every time I yell I have to reset the ticker. As irritating as it is, resetting is a great motivator toward not yelling. Nothing feels worse than having an outburst and then having your five year old or husband look you in the eyes and say “you’re yelling”. Its a terrible feeling of let down.
In the past week here are some triggers and remedies for unnecessary yelling that I’ve come across:
1) Trigger – Not enough sleep. It’s a nasty cycle. You can’t avoid being tired when you have kids, and you don’t want to yell at your kids but they are possibly why you are tired! It’s crazy! How do you get around this? Honestly…I need input here, people!
2) Remedy – Having a snack. I find that when my five year old is having what can only be described as a puddle of mess meltdown, its usually due to low blood sugar. Every one deals with low blood sugar in different ways….He blubbers uncontrollably…I yell. Have a snack and rid the world of yelling all at one go. Piece of cake. Note the pun 😉
3) Trigger – Driving in the car. I don’t know what it is about being in the car that sets me off, but it’s irrational. Maybe I’m claustrophobic and I am just not diagnosed or maybe in a past life I was a taxi driver from NYC…whatever my excuse (I’ll talk about excuses in a later post) its just nuts. So what do I do for that? I now have a canvas bag full of toys for my boys, mp3’s from Storynory.com and endless calming classical music, Snacks (zip-locs with pretzels and crackers that won’t go bad in the car and maybe a few juice boxes.) I find that bringing something for me to do in the car (if I’m a passenger) like a knitting project or a book helps too. Even if I don’t read or knit, I know I have something to focus on if I start to get worked up. I also make sure I have a snack too.
4) Remedy – An extra long bathroom break. I forgot about these after I stopped working. I used to give myself a break from my co-workers all of the time by spending a little bit longer in the bathroom. As long as the little one is in a safe situation, I take a breather in the…ahem….crapper.
5) Trigger – Not feeling 100%. I am in my first trimester so I’ve noticed this one a lot. My fuse is so short when I’m not feeling well. I don’t want to do anything for anyone, which is impossible when you have children, and I don’t want to clean….which leads me to the next remedy.
6) Remedy – Keeping things clean. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying: “A messy house is a messy mind”. Well as far as I can tell it’s true. When there are messes piled up or the laundry gets out of hand I just lose it! The mess builds and builds and accumulates and I can ignore it for a while….but then when I can’t get to my bed…or the sink gets full I just….explode. Tidy each day. Develop a laundry schedule. Its not worth the freak out.
These are just a few issues/easy fixes that I have found in just the past seven days. I can do this.