Valentine’s day is coming. That’s right the country’s sweethearts will all get together and make you sick. They will feed each other fondue over candlelight and buy each other teddy bears later to be lost in the back of a closet or set on top a bookshelf to collect dust. These tokens of affection are sweet and we love it. What of you that have been burned though? The haters who shrug it off as a Halmark Holiday…..
I was of the “I hate Valentine’s Day” population up until 2011 when Mr. Right and I tied the good ole fashioned knot. Oh yes..he is so Mr. Right. He hits the spot with each gift and each touch and every word. I will get back to him later in the post though. What I thought I’d share with you now are the variety of lessons I’ve learned from admirers over the years and how they’ve made me the best wife ever.
Valentine’s Day Every Year until about 1999, Lesson: The one and only – I love my father. He is my inspiration to reaching my unattainable goals. I was, up until last year, his only daughter. He had a love for me like he has no other. That man made me feel special for many reasons and every year he’d get me a little four chocolate heart shaped box. That was so special. Thanks, Dad, for the chocolates and for showing me what it means to be special to someone like no one else can be.
Valentine’s Day 2002 , Lesson: The year insecurities were turned into “I deserve it”– I told my highschool sweetheart that I hated getting flowers because they DIE! Yup over emotional, insecure little me. I perhaps didn’t think I was good enough to get flowers. And do you know what the big ole sweet loaf did? He made paper flowers and gave me a stone that said “love” on it. What a doll. I wonder where that Mr. Wrong is today….While he did break my heart a year later he gave me the confidence you never would believe in didn’t have once.
Oh 4 and Oh 5. Lesson: The years I found out I could make myself happy. – In 2004 I married one of the Mr. Wrong’s. He didn’t love me. He told me so. Often. I was 19….Who the hell let me get married?! Well…I guess…if you know me the answer is “Who could stop you?”. What I learned from this Mr. Wrong is that I don’t have to have some one else’s attention to be happy. I tried until I couldn’t try any more to make him love me. So I gave up! And when I stopped trying to make him happy…I started to make myself happy. Thank you Mr. Wrong for showing me independent self-sufficient happiness does exist.
The Inking years. Lesson: The years I learned to fight for love – Oh Mr. Wrong of the Inking years. As Grace Potter and the Nocturnals puts it “We had a sky dive love affair, knew it from the very start”. I knew it wasn’t meant to be. But boy oh boy did that dude teach me about fighting. I read several books on relationships. I talked with a therapist weekly about how to be happy with him. I tried breaking up with him. I tried making up with him. And the only good that came out of all that exhausting fighting was a little love I call, Maddox. Thank you Mr. Wrong for showing me that love is worth fighting for.
Substitutes for Love. Lesson: Whoa, whoa, whoa, She’s a lady – These are a handful of Mr. Wrongs. These guys made a rundown, tired, over stressed, underslept mom feel like a MILF. That’s right….We’re talking good old tried and true rebounds and flings. One of them loved to sing to me at the top of his lungs in his truck and show me off. One used guitar and lyrics written for me. One liked to take me out on expensive dates. One liked to take me for rides on his motorcycle, real fast. One made one Christmas season very special and gave me his full vacation’s worth of attention. One didn’t care how hot August was..wink wink. (I know honey, this is not your favorite part….stay with me here. It’s all for you). While these may have been short lived they all taught me a lesson. I’m a hot piece of ass. Regardless of if it’s true or not. I have great self-esteem. If you see me staring at my self in the side view mirror while I sing along with the radio or looking at my face a little too long while putting on make up…Its only because these guys made me feel like I was worth looking at.
Valentine’s Day 2011. Lesson: I’m the whole package. – This is the year Mr. Right and I got married. This guy respected me, acknowledged my independence, appreciated my fight for life, made me feel like a Sex Goddess, and showed me I was worth making his one and only. By marrying me he told me I had learned the lessons of what my former years had to teach. Mr. Right is the whole package and some. While we all have baggage from the past we can chose how we travel with that baggage. Take the good stuff, leave behind the stuff that doesn’t serve us. Life is one lesson after another. Its your choice to pay attention or not.
I’ve learned my lesson and dammit!….. I love Valentine’s day.